Delaying "I do."


POSTED: Tuesday, November 13, 2012 - 7:34pm

UPDATED: Friday, December 14, 2012 - 10:26am

The old saying, "First comes love, then comes marriage." isn't exactly the way it works anymore.

It's more like, first comes college, then comes career...then comes the rest.

According to a pew research study, barely half of the adults in the United States are married—that's a record low.

In the 1960's, more than 70% of all adults were married and now it's less than 50%

The average marriage age is now closer to 30. And 50 years ago, the average age to get married was closer to 20.

So why are people delaying their "I do's?"

The answer is, more people are considering their cash, their career and their conscious before leaping down the long aisle of love.

Ester Yeager , Certified wedding planner from Plan it! Events in Tyler says, "Anywhere from 10 to probably 25 thousand dollars would be an average cost in East Texas (to get married)"

Yeager explains,  it's the money people are worried about the most, she says, "If you look at the budget for a wedding it's a very fluid expense."

Yeager says, the traditional ways of paying for a wedding are almost obsolete, Where mom and dad foot the bill. It's just not happening like that anymore.

Now it's usually the post-college couples who are up to their eyeballs in student loans who are the ones who have to save up for their big day. And depending on how "big" they want their "big" day to be, they have to wait until they have the "big" money to pay for it.

Yeager says, "More often and more frequently it is the bride and groom who've taken responsibility for their wedding and for the financial aspect of it."

Much like Meagan Hart, a school teacher in East Texas who has decided to wait to tie the knot with her fiance, due to money. "We started saving up for the wedding back in january, because the wedding is expensive. weddings are expensive, if you want to have everything you're going to have to wait a while, so we decided to wait."

The dinner, the flowers, the all adds up! And that doesn't even include the ring, or the honeymoon.

Hart opted for a longer engagement, to offest the massive expense of a wedding. which is also becoming the new normal.

Yeager says she's seen a trend in extended engagements, "Bride and grooms, they'll become engaged and they'll set a wedding date for a year and half sometimes even two years ahead so that they are able to save the money that they need for their wedding."

Statistics show the average income of a 25 year old in the united states, with a college degree is around 30 thousand dollars. The average cost of a wedding is nearly 30 thousand dollars.

If you do the math, that is one year's salary for someone in their mid-twenties. On top of student loans, and living expenses, that just means more debt, And starting your marriage off on the wrong foot.

Hart says, " I think a lot of people put pressure on themselves to have a fabulous wedding go into debt and then when their married they start off their marriage kind of rocky."

A way around the added expense is to head down to the Justice of the Peace indead.

Judge Quincy Beavers, Justice of the Peace district 5 says, "we charge around 60 dollars, here in the office, and 100$ if it's away on someone's residence."

Fiscal fear is one reason people wait to get married until they're older.

Another reason is women striving to be CEO's instead of secretaries.

Studys suggest that more females entering the work force is another reason the median age of matrimony is climbing.

Hart agreees, she says, "Now a days I think that women are not wanting to have to depend on a man for stability and they wanting to have their own career and be successful before they go into a marriage."

Yeager says generationally women have more options today than they used to, " You have so many choices as a woman today, that even ya know 10 or 20 years ago they weren't necessarily encouraged."

More career focused females, is another contribution to the climbing age. Not only that, some people say, maturity and marriage go hand and hand.

Carrie-Ann Jasper was married very young and now she is on her second marriage, she says she wishes she could turn back time. "I wish I would have waited until I was a lot older to get married."
"I think you have a lot of life lessons that you don't have when you're younger."

But a word from the wise, she says, "Make sure that God is the center of your marriage and everything will fall into place."

Putting a pause on your nuptials may not be a bad thing. Studys show that the divorce rate is significantly lower for those who get married until after 30. So delaying your 'I do' could mean a divorce-free destiny.

Comments News Comments

Another big reason why a lot of young people are not getting married is that it has become such a huge risk for us. With the divorce rate in this country over 60% for the younger generations the idea of getting married becomes much more of a problem. Think about it, when people get divorced someone almost always gets their income halved. If it happened to me at this point in my life I wouldn't be able to afford rent and food, let alone anything else.

Also keep in mind that the things that used to really only come with marriage, sex and children, now are common and accepted prior to marriage. Marriage has lost a lot of it's meaning to most of the younger generation beyond the legal and financial ramifications. Getting married is expensive and often getting divorced is even more expensive. But if you are unmarried, just committed long term in a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship, then you just move out and separate any combined finances.

I got married at age 41 and my wife was much younger, so we waited until we were sure we could have a good life and having a good life doesn't mean having money because that comes as you live your life. Age also is no problem because most women want a spouse that has experience and I don't mean sex wise. They look for a man that will have eyes only for her and not look for other women, when they aren't being watched by their wife. Trust and only trust makes a good marriage.

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