Neal Barton's POV

No nursing home needed


POSTED: Monday, November 12, 2012 - 8:07pm

UPDATED: Tuesday, November 13, 2012 - 10:18pm

It was on the Internet, so it has to be right, right?

With the cost of everything going up now a days and I'm getting older, my wife found a way to make our retirement cheaper.

Obamacare, nursing homes, no problem.

We're checking in to the Holiday Inn. With the average cost for a nursing home care costing $188 per day, there is a better way when we get old and are too feeble. I've already checked on reservations at the Holiday Inn.

For a combined long term stay discount and senior discount, it's $59.23 per night. Breakfast is included, and some have happy hours in the afternoon.

That leaves $128.77 a day for lunch and dinner in any restaurant we want, or room service, laundry, gratuities and special TV movies. Plus, they provide a spa, swimming pool, a workout room, a lounge and washer-dryer, etc.

Most have free toothpaste and razors, and all have free shampoo and soap. $5 worth of tips a day you'll have the entire staff scrambling to help you. They treat you like a customer, not a patient.

There's a city bus stop out front, and seniors ride free. The handicap bus will also pick you up (if you fake a decent limp).

To meet other nice people, call a church bus on Sundays. For a change of scenery, take the airport shuttle bus and eat at one of the nice restaurants there. While you're at the airport, fly somewhere. Otherwise, the cash keeps building up.

It takes months to get into decent nursing homes. Holiday Inn will take your reservation today. And you're not stuck in one place forever -- you can move from inn to inn, or even from city to city.

Want to see Hawaii ? They have a Holiday Inn there too.

TV broken? Light bulbs need changing? Need a mattress replaced? No problem. They fix everything, and apologize for the inconvenience.

The Inn has a night security person and daily room service. The maid checks to see if you are OK. If not, they'll call an ambulance or the undertaker. If you fall and break a hip, Medicare will pay for the hip, and Holiday Inn will upgrade you to a suite for the rest of your life.

That's my point of view, what's yours?

You can email me at or Facebook me at KETK Neal Barton.


Comments News Comments

I have to admit, for the first and probably last time, POV was absolutely off-the-wall funny!! What a pleasant surprise to see a gentle, funny, creative and clever story pulled from the millions of negative and lousy stories that could have been printed. Would be nice if POV devoted more time to good clean posts for a change...but that probably wouldn't play to his simmering ultra-conservative base who appreciate red meat issues as opposed to just good posting by a right-winger.

Put it all on your points back card and get Christmas paid for too.

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